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Type 4: The Performer (who becomes the Authentic One)
You gravitate most towards the limiting self talk character called the Performer. When healed, your new name is the Authentic One.
This limiting self talk character is often motivated by their image. When she was young, the Performer answered the question “how do I get love” with “by being talented, smart, or successful.” The Performer feels that no one will like her unless she succeeds. While other characters can be very inward focused, performers are outward focused and care the most what people think of them. Performers often love to be the center of attention and showing off their strengths. But they also wonder if they would stop getting love if they stopped performing above their own and other people’s standards.
Examples of limiting self talk the Performer narrates:
-I am only worth something because I am talented, successful, or smart.
-The world loves winners. Therefore, I must always try to win.
-If I am weak, I need to cover it up.
-Being vulnerable is scary. I would rather be strong.
-I am what I do.
-I wish they would notice how hard I am working.
Foundational Fear: Being worthless
Redeemed Gift: Our greatest weakness can become our greatest strength when it is healed. When you overcome your performance narrative, the gift you will bring to the world is bringing value and worth to all people no matter how the world sees them, including yourself.
The Path Towards Hope: We can become a compassionate observer of our inner landscape and notice when these thoughts arise. We can ask the Performer why she is showing up at certain times and bring healing to her.
To get over your addiction to LST (Limiting Self Talk), make your thoughts NEW.
Notice and Name when you have a thought centered around what you do rather than who you are.
Envision what you would feel like and how your life would change if you replaced that thought. What would it feel like to place your identity in being a child of God instead of your performance? How would your life change if you tried to become a human being instead of a human doing?
Whirl that negative thought around 180°, generating a positive thought to replace the limiting thought.
180° Thought: You are loved even when you fail.
Inner Healing Assignment- Write a letter from the weaker parts of you to the strong parts. Can you visualize an animal, object, analogy, or story that the weak part feels like? What do you think that weak part of you needs to hear to gain healing?
The Compassionate Friend
There is good news! All of us can strive to let the Compassionate Friend be the default self talk character in our minds. She will be like a mother who can calm and comfort the other self talk characters. The Compassionate Friend is the deepest part of who we are. The part that is whole. The part knows that she is deeply loved and lives out that love in his or her actions and words.
How many times have you faced something that seemed impossible: something you battled with and cried over and prayed about until you clawed your way out of that wilderness until you found hope again? How many times have you faced insurmountable challenges that were matched with an insatiable hunger to find God in the midst of your pain? How many times did you feel dead inside, unable to take another step, but you took that step anyway?
The you that clung onto hope when your father died. The you that never thought your would survive when the one you loved walked out the door. The you that somehow found the sun after you lost your child. That is the deepest you. The Compassionate Friend. Those insurmountable challenges are what tenderly and carefully wore down the black soot that covered your heart. Every time you overcame one of those obstacles, the Compassionate Friend was strengthened in you. How could you not love such a beautiful soul?
The Compassionate Friend is who we want to access the most. This character dwells the closest to God, and they partner together to bring healing to your inmost parts. The more we allow the Compassionate Friend to calm and quiet the other characters, the more freedom we will have.
Examples of the limitless self talk the Compassionate Friend Narrates:
-I don’t need to control these circumstances or this person. I let go of control.
-You did the best you could with what you had at the time.
-Don’t beat yourself up. You are precious and valuable beyond measure.
-We are all going through the human experience as a family. I will see the rest of humanity as equals and comrades. I choose compassion over being better or being right.
-I choose forgiveness.
-I will forgive reality. Then I will accept reality. Then I will embrace reality.
-Instead of running to addiction, I choose to delve deep into my soul to understand what I am trying to numb myself from.
-It’s wonderful and beautiful to serve others. It is equally wonderful and beautiful to rest.
-When given a choice, I will always choose love.
The more we access the Compassionate Friend, the more we bring the gift of our true self to the world. There is no one that can bring that beautiful gift except you.
Many people have more than one self talk character that they gravitate towards, so I am sending you a free PDF of all the other self talk characters. Feel free to unsubscribe if you would like.
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