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Type 5: The Hider (who becomes the One Who is Seen)
You gravitate most to the limiting self talk character called the Hider. Once healed, your new name is the One Who is Seen.
The Hider feels like he is average or below average. He doesn’t realize that most of the population is average…that’s why it’s called average! Growing up, the answer to “how do I get love” or “how do I stay safe” was “by becoming invisible.” He feels like the world is always yelling at him to have a passion or be good at something, and that makes him feel insecure. He may have tried his hand at a few creative things but it just made him feel like he wasn’t good enough. He felt like it was okay to hide because that’s what humility looks like. He is often depreciating himself. He struggles with wondering what people think of him and often coming to the faulty conclusion that he doesn’t matter to many people. He can sometimes be self sufficient, but he is also very lonely.
Examples of Limiting Self Talk the Hider Narrates:
-There is nothing good inside of me.
-I am not important.
-I wish people would just let me be myself, but that self is never good enough for them.
-Hiding myself glorifies God more.
-I will never measure up.
-I am unattractive/ unlovable.
Foundational Fear: That he is insignificant and/or invisible.
Our greatest weakness can become our greatest strength when it is healed. When you overcome your hiding narrative, the gift you will bring to the world is allowing yourself to be seen and known, just as you are.
The Path Towards Hope: We can become a compassionate observer of our inner landscape and notice when these thoughts arise. We can ask the Hider why he is showing up at certain times and bring healing to him.
To get over your addiction to LST (Limiting Self Talk), make your thoughts NEW.
Notice and Name when you have a thought about being insignificant.
Envision what you would feel like and how your life would change if you replaced that thought. What would it feel like to believe that you have you are important to many people? How would your life change if you saw yourself as someone who brings beautiful and powerful things to the world?
Whirl that negative thought around 180°, generating a positive thought to replace the limiting thought.
180° Thought: I am valuable beyond any human measure. I don’t need to hide myself.
Inner Healing Assignment: Brenè Brown says that 85% of people have shame memories from their school years, and that 50% of those are attached to creativity. Think back on your life…is there a reason that you have been scared to be creative or to show yourself? Write out the reasons that come to mind. To overcome that narrative, make something creative, like a painting or a poem. Look at it and try not to compare it to the people around you that you dub “above average.” See that work as valuable and meaningful even if it doesn’t live up to the world’s standards. You made it, and you are valuable beyond measure. If you are really brave, give it to a friend or share it on your social media.
The Compassionate Friend
There is good news! All of us can strive to let the Compassionate Friend be the default self talk character in our minds. He will be like a father who can calm and comfort the other self talk characters. The Compassionate Friend is the deepest part of who we are. The part that is whole. The part knows that he is deeply loved and lives out that love in his actions and words.
How many times have you faced something that seemed impossible: something you battled with and cried over and prayed about until you clawed your way out of that wilderness until you found hope again? How many times have you faced insurmountable challenges that were matched with an insatiable hunger to find God in the midst of your pain? How many times did you feel dead inside, unable to take another step, but you took that step anyway?
The you that clung onto hope when your father died. The you that never thought your would survive when the one you loved walked out the door. The you that somehow found the sun after you lost your child. That is the deepest you. The Compassionate Friend. Those insurmountable challenges are what tenderly and carefully wore down the black soot that covered your heart. Every time you overcame one of those obstacles, the Compassionate Friend was strengthened in you. How could you not love such a strong soul?
The Compassionate Friend is who we want to access the most. This character dwells the closest to God, and they partner together to bring healing to your inmost parts. The more we allow the Compassionate Friend to calm and quiet the other characters, the more freedom we will have.
Examples of the limitless self talk the Compassionate Friend Narrates:
-I don’t need to control these circumstances or this person. I let go of control.
-You did the best you could with what you had at the time.
-Don’t beat yourself up. You are precious and valuable beyond measure.
-We are all going through the human experience as a family. I will see the rest of humanity as equals and comrades. I choose compassion over being better or being right.
-I choose forgiveness.
-I will forgive reality. Then I will accept reality. Then I will embrace reality.
-Instead of running to addiction, I choose to delve deep into my soul to understand what I am trying to numb myself from.
-It’s wonderful and beautiful to serve others. It is equally wonderful and beautiful to rest.
-When given a choice, I will always choose love.
The more we access the Compassionate Friend, the more we bring the gift of our true self to the world. There is no one that can bring that beautiful gift except you.
Many people have more than one self talk character that they gravitate towards, so I am sending you a free PDF of all the other self talk characters. Feel free to unsubscribe if you would like.
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