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Type 7: The Hijacker (who becomes the Chain Breaker)
You gravitate most to the limiting self talk character called the Hijacker. When healed, your new name is the Chain Breaker.
Hijacking thoughts are intrusive thoughts that take over other thought patterns. They bound and gag the parts of you that need healing. As long as they are in control, no restoration is taking place. Hijacking thoughts are addictions to things such as television, social media, food, substances, and sex.
Examples of Negative Self Talk the Hijacker Narrates:
-Maybe the reason I’m struggling with that is….(interrupts) I wonder what I should watch on Netflix?
-If I am not comfortable I’m not happy.
-I sometimes feel more attached to my friends online than I do the people that are in person.
-Silence, contemplation, or sitting still makes me uncomfortable.
-I “need” certain things outside of myself3to feel content.
-There are things in my life that are out of my control, and that scares me. My addictions or “comforts” give me an illusion of control, so I run to them.
Besides the self talk, there is a constant compulsion to look for the next thing to make you “feel good.” If you were to dig deep, you would find that underneath your compulsions is lingering emotional pain that has never been dealt with.
Foundational Fear: The anguish that comes with self examination.
Redeemed Gift: Our greatest weakness can become our greatest strength when it is healed. When you overcome your hijacking thoughts, you will have the gift of foundational peace and deep healing.
The Path Toward Hope: We can become a compassionate observer of our inner landscape and notice when these thoughts arise. The other self talk characters are a part of you that need healing, so they are dealt with firmly but kindly. But hijackers are intrusive thoughts that are doing nothing but thwarting your healing. You can be more firm with them, saying that they are not needed here. It is still good to get to the bottom of what root story they are trying to cover up.
To ask these intrusive thoughts why they are there, we can tap into the deepest part of who we are, the Compassionate Friend, who dwells closest to the heart of God. Ask God to help you and the Compassionate Friend to be strong as you walk on your journey towards healing.
To get over your addiction to LST (Limiting Self Talk), make your thoughts NEW.
Notice and Name when you have compulsive thoughts and “irresistible” urges.
Envision what you would feel like and how your life would change if you replaced those thoughts.
What would it feel like if the Compassionate Friend had control rather than your impulses, compulsions, and addictions? How would your life change if you could be truly present in the moment, not needing anything else but the love that already surrounds you to have joy?
Whirl that negative thought around 180°, generating a positive thought to replace the limiting thought.
It’s only an impulse (breathe in, breathe out)
This is not who I am (breathe in, breathe out)
I am choosing my healing (breathe in, breathe out)
I am letting love in. (breathe in, breathe out)
Inner Healing Assignment:
-When a compulsive thought comes, memorize and recite the 180° thought above. Instead of indulging your addiction, grab a pen and paper instead. Write out when this addiction might have started and what pain the addiction might be trying to cover up. Sometimes the remedy to the pain is in the pain itself, so don’t be afraid to let yourself go through that pain for a while in order to heal. Love your future self more than your impulses. Remember that there is great wisdom in thinking about the fruit of something while it is still a seed.
The Compassionate Friend
There is good news! All of us can strive to let the Compassionate Friend be the default self talk character in our minds. She will be like a mother who can calm and comfort the other self talk characters. The Compassionate Friend is the deepest part of who we are. The part that is whole. The part knows that she is deeply loved and lives out that love in his or her actions and words.
How many times have you faced something that seemed impossible: something you battled with and cried over and prayed about until you clawed your way out of that wilderness until you found hope again? How many times have you faced insurmountable challenges that were matched with an insatiable hunger to find God in the midst of your pain? How many times did you feel dead inside, unable to take another step, but you took that step anyway?
The you that clung onto hope when your father died. The you that never thought your would survive when the one you loved walked out the door. The you that somehow found the sun after you lost your child. That is the deepest you. The Compassionate Friend. Those insurmountable challenges are what tenderly and carefully wore down the black soot that covered your heart. Every time you overcame one of those obstacles, the Compassionate Friend was strengthened in you. How could you not love such a beautiful soul?
The Compassionate Friend is who we want to access the most. This character dwells the closest to God, and they partner together to bring healing to your inmost parts. The more we allow the Compassionate Friend to calm and quiet the other characters, the more freedom we will have.
Examples of the limitless self talk the Compassionate Friend Narrates:
-I don’t need to control these circumstances or this person. I let go of control.
-You did the best you could with what you had at the time.
-Don’t beat yourself up. You are precious and valuable beyond measure.
-We are all going through the human experience as a family. I will see the rest of humanity as equals and comrades. I choose compassion over being better or being right.
-I choose forgiveness.
-I will forgive reality. Then I will accept reality. Then I will embrace reality.
-Instead of running to addiction, I choose to delve deep into my soul to understand what I am trying to numb myself from.
-It’s wonderful and beautiful to serve others. It is equally wonderful and beautiful to rest.
-When given a choice, I will always choose love.
The more we access the Compassionate Friend, the more we bring the gift of our true self to the world. There is no one that can bring that beautiful gift except you.
Many people have more than one self talk character that they gravitate towards, so I am sending you a free PDF of all the other self talk characters. Feel free to unsubscribe if you would like.
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